Version 3.0

The invitation to my party on Sunday read:

Please join me to celebrate the launch of dervala version 3.0. This latest release has many new features, including support for Southeast Asia and an ability to talk about gardening and botox while wearing unflattering khaki pants.

PS: No gifts, thanks.

About half-way through the evening, Bill the Bartender brought over a round of birthday shots and I proposed a toast to my loyal friends. Who said:

   ‘Oh wow, it’s your birthday? We wondered why you said ‘No gifts’. What age are you?’
    ‘Um, thirty. As in, version 3.0…’

Teetering in my little black dress and heels, I felt about as socially well-adjusted as Bill Gates. Even the engineers hadn’t got it.