My Big Fat Italian Thanksgiving

From my dear friend Andrew. Last names changed to protect the Catholic guilty from Google inquisition.

I don’t know if you already have plans but you are hereby cordially invited to the Gastorini/Panatella Family Guest Thanksgiving Extravaganza.

Hosted at my big brother and sis-in-laws place in Jersey City, the Gastorini/Panatella Family Guest Thanksgiving Extravaganza offers our friends and guests the opportunity to watch an intense and dark drama called “Family Dinner” in which the children* struggle to avoid using the words “George W. Bush”, “economy” or “fucking right-wing nut jobs”. In the spirit of day, the two mothers/mothers-in-law struggle not to use the words “abortion”, “God isn’t a bad word, you know” and “when are you two going to have children”.

*Children. Noun. Plural. Def: Thirty-to-forty year olds with a plethora of advanced degrees who can magically revert to age 8 at the mention of the phrase “you need a haircut”.

Dervala, I know this might not sound super-appealing so far, but this Gastorini/Panatella Family Guest Thanksgiving Extravaganza also includes lots of reasonably yummy food.

If you’ve ever wanted to volunteer as a human shield, or you’re free and would like to check out the sociological phenomenon, let me know. We’d be delighted to have you there!

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