Claire T in London writes (I love that; makes me feel like a Radio Two Disc Jockey) with a link to Zoe Williams’s rules of the road. This superb guide to life as a lady bike commuter includes fishnets, sopping bras, the pros and cons of running the lights, and social commentary.
When I was younger, a neighbour of my mum’s with colourful views gave me a lift to school. On the way, we passed a flame-headed lady cyclist who nearly went into us, and he said, “This is why women kill themselves on bikes – because they’re always looking in the shops.” This is very sexist, but it is true that she was looking at a shop.
You need to be honest with yourself about what will make you neck-crane something that isn’t the road. Don’t pretend it’s a lovely arse if actually it’s a window of cakes*. For myself, the only two occasions I’ve nearly crashed with no outside agency of poor driving, it was because I saw a puppy.
* If your head is turned by arses and patisseries, maybe you should take public transport.
My own trigger is shiny surfaces, especially reflective shop windows. I’m always curious about what I look like on a bike, for no good reason. I’ve worked out a Shakespearean theory that we each die of our most pronounced flaw. In my case, low-grade narcissism will put me under the wheels of a bus eventually.
3 thoughts on “Does This Bike Make My Arse Look Big?”
Gah. I’m reading this as someone who had her bike nicked by a crackhead/kid/kid on crack overnight. They made pretty short work of the lock… I say lock because I only locked one of the two I have, so it’s probably all my fault.
Anyway, my “trigger” is nice clothes other people are wearing… I find myself zooming past a smartly-dressed woman in the Vondelpark and thinking “ooh, I wonder where she got that… maybe I’ll have another look” *smack*
Oh Cath, I’m sorry to hear about your bike. Always a bad moment. I’ve lost so many to the War on Drugs.
And word on the style trigger; great shoes/pants/coat do it for me, too. Come to think of it, so do nice arses and cakes. And puppies.
I really enjoyed reading your piece on the Vindigo startup – I know Jason quite well from being his old Elec Eng. Practicals partner in eh, dare I say 1989,UCD or yuckyD as “they” used to say. But the speed with which he used to work was frightening so I can understand what those days must have been like.. I now find myself in Manhattan cause of career, enjoying it, but missin home a bit. What about you, what are you up to these days…
Drop me a line, It would be fun. Later, Sean C
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