Crotchfruit, n., a child or children. (Often derogatory.)
As punishment for irregularities with her Canadian visa and seventeen previous lifetimes of evildoing, my sister is substitute-teaching in our home town. Unlike San Franciscans, Irish breeders are keeping up the numbers.
“I taught 30 four-year-old crotchfruits today,” she wrote. “They were ick. They kept wanting to hold my hand. And I think one of them had a yeast infection; she kept scratching herself.”
I passed on this touching story to my co-worker, L.
“Crotchfruitflies?” she speculated.